Match.com / Profile / Testimonial Rewrite

Today I received an email from match.com’s customer service department asking that I rewrite my profile:

Unfortunately, we are unable to approve it at this time. Please submit another profile or alter the text you previously sent by following these steps:

Profile Guidelines:
* All information provided must be accurate and current
* Must be in English
* You must be single or separated from your spouse
* Do not include detailed personal information (ie: your last name, street address, contact information, date of birth, etc.) to help protect your online anonymity
* Do not include any language which could be considered defamatory or offensive in any way (ie: sexually explicit, promotes racism, references to inflicting bodily harm to yourself or others, etc.)
* No solicitation
* No website addresses
* You must be at least 18 years old

My response:

I’m sorry, I don’t see where I’ve transgressed your policies with my profile.

I have written a witty profile which is accurate and current. It is in English. I am single. I do not include any information about myself. I am 27 years old. I do not solicit. I list no websites. It is in polite language. So what’s the problem?

Answer: there is no problem. Either you have a brain-dead profile approval process, or you wish to stamp out self expression!

I was going to *thank* match.com because I’ve gained a good friend via the site. However, given this ridiculous policing of profiles, I shalln’t be renewing my membership or recommending you to anyone else.