The Strange Twilight World of the Heterosexual

A message in my mailbox today:

Please tell me [this] means you aren’t talking about sex on the first date..! :\

Actually, yes, I was talking about sex on a first date. “Talking about” is quite different from “soliciting”. Some thoughts I’d written about this in an email exchange with a friend began as follows:

[…] I’ve noticed something about profiles on match.com — “sex” seems to be a very taboo subject. I can sort of understand why — at the first hint of that word men are going to start salivating at the possibility of an easy lay. At the same time, though, it’s a huge part of being in an adult relationship.

An observation by a friend:

You won’t find this kind of reticence on, for example, gaydar.com, where people are entirely forthcoming about their sexual likes and dislikes, and this goes for the guys who are looking for long-term relationships as well as those who want to meet up just for a shag. […] If there is something that you either insist on or can’t bear in bed then it’s considered rude not to make this clear in your dating profile!

I’m struggling to think of why being open and honest with someone is a problem… even if that means discussing each other’s sexuality on a first date.