mazblog.c3.archive.hosted.faelix.net

Research has led to discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, NHSium (NHS). It has one neuron, 25 assistant neurons, 88 deputy neurons and 198 assistant deputy neurons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since NHSium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of NHSium can cause a reaction that normally takes less than a second to take as long as 4 years to complete.
NHSium has a normal half-life of 2-3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neurons and deputy neurons exchange places. In fact, NHSium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes more morons to become neurons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that NHSium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, NHSium becomes DOHium, which has half as many peons but twice the number of morons.