I enjoy helping old ladies to cross roads, donating huge sums of money to charity and mending little bird’s broken wings. Unfortunately I never get round to doing any of this as I spend far too much time mainlining heroin and beating up small children.
a dating profile found on match.com (approved by the moderators one moment, deleted the next)
You need wellingtons to walk around Manchester. The whole place smells of beer, sweat, testosterone, and the delicate hues of piss and vomit are starting to fragrance the air.
personal email, describing the state of Manchester city centre the afternoon before the UEFA Cup Final
There are 100000 extra people in Manchester tonight for the UEFA Cup Final. The drinking began last night, the “fan zones” opened their casks at 10am today. It’s a lovely, sunny day so everyone will be thirsty. By the time the match rolls around this evening, the streets of Mancunia will be running with rivers of piss.
This release may contain forward-looking statements that involve a number of risks and uncertainties. It is important to note that [organisation’s] performance, financial condition or business could differ materially from those expressed in such forward-looking statements. The words “option”, “will”, “continue” and similar expressions are intended to identify such forward-looking statements.
There will be a satsuma party[1] to celebrate my 20th birthday starting about 8pm till whenever on the balcony (weather permitting, else it’ll be somewhere else) at Castle House[2] tomorrow, Monday 20th November, the two thousandth year since about six years after a rather influential man was born.
Bring satsumas, tangerines, clementines and other assorted citrus fruit[3].
There is no dress code[4].
— Maz
…you can find all you need in Sainsbury’s…
European dates for METROPOLIS 2000 tour
Added on 12-06-1999
Below are the European METROPOLIS 2000 tour dates that have been “confirmed” so far. Please keep in mind that these are all still subject to change.
